I'm sitting here in my apartment, surrounded by the digital graveyard of unfinished games, laughing at my own absurd optimism. It's 2025, and I've just watched yet another major game release pass me by while I'm STILL struggling through its predecessor. The gaming gods must be cackling at my expense!
When Death Stranding 2: On the Beach dropped earlier this year, I made what I thought was a brilliant decision - I'd finish the first game before jumping into the sequel. FIFTY HOURS of package delivery later, I was so mentally exhausted that the mere thought of another Kojima hiking simulator made me want to hurl my controller into the sun. And now? History repeats itself with Hollow Knight and Silksong! Team Cherry gave us two whole weeks notice - TWO WEEKS! - as if that's enough time to conquer the brutal, labyrinthine masterpiece that is Hollow Knight. Who am I kidding? I couldn't finish it in two MONTHS!
The Silksong hype train has not only left the station - it's in another dimension while I'm still fumbling around in the Deepnest, getting repeatedly murdered by spiders. Fantastic.
The Delusion of Time Abundance
My brain has this MAGNIFICENT ability to convince itself that time is elastic. "Oh sure, I can definitely finish this 80-hour JRPG before the sequel drops next month!" WHO AM I KIDDING? There are only so many hours in a day, and apparently, I need to waste some of them on trivial matters like "sleeping" and "maintaining personal relationships." Ridiculous!
This temporal delusion has led me to avoid certain games entirely. Megabonk looks incredible, but it's one of those "you can play FOREVER" games. I don't have forever! I'm a mortal being with a finite existence! I need games with ENDINGS, people!
And yet, even with these self-imposed limitations, I'm STILL drowning. The Yakuza/Like a Dragon series has been mocking me since 2017. When Yakuza 0 became the perfect entry point, where was I? Probably finishing some other game that everyone had already moved on from. Fast forward to 2024, and I bought Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth on sale, only to realize it's approximately the 847th game in a series where I've completed ZERO entries.
Now I'm contemplating just jumping into Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii because:
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It's critically acclaimed (worth my precious time)
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It's current (so I can participate in GOTY discussions like a functioning member of society)
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It's a spin-off (so I don't need a PhD in Yakuza lore to understand what's happening)
But am I actually going to play it? Let's be real - probably not until 2027 when I'm trying to catch up before the NEXT big release.
The Unique Torture of Gaming Backlogs
🎮 Games are a special kind of torture device. If you want to catch up on movies, it's EASY! Want to watch every Nightmare on Elm Street? One week, done! All the Scream movies? A few more days, boom!
But games? HA! Try catching up on every Zelda or Final Fantasy title without quitting your job or abandoning your family. It's IMPOSSIBLE unless you have:
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The free time of a 12-year-old on summer break
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The dedication of an Olympic athlete
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No other hobbies or interests whatsoever
Games don't just take hours – they take DAYS, WEEKS, sometimes MONTHS of your life. And they keep. Coming. Out. It's like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon while someone keeps dumping more water in behind you.
What's most infuriating is that magical window of cultural relevance. When everyone's playing and discussing the same game, there's this beautiful communal experience. But miss that window? You're playing in an echo chamber, posting your thoughts to an audience that moved on six months ago.
I've resigned myself to perpetually being that person who says, "I know I'm late to the party, but I just finished [insert game that came out three years ago] and WOW!"
Is this just the curse of adult gaming? Should I just accept that I'll always be behind? Or is there some secret technique to staying current that I'm missing? Maybe I should just focus on smaller indie games that don't require the time investment of these massive AAA experiences?
Wait, who am I kidding? Hades 2 is out now, and I need to finish it before the next big thing drops. The cycle continues, and I remain hopelessly, hilariously behind. But hey, at least I'm not alone in this struggle... right?